I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
