12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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