It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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