she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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