So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
