Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
