Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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