i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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