i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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