Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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