is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Someone signed my nipple.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
