she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
