Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
