I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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