Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
