Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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