I just pynch a tree in the face
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
