Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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