I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I forget how to act sober
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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