the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the liver wants what the liver wants
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
