its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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