My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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