Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
