what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My pussy is not your playground.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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