The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's shark week go big or go home
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
