garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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