You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My hand turned me down
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
