Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
