I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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