Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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