i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
