we're blogging at a bar
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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