Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
