he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
