what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I touched a dick in church today
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
