so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
