Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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