My room smells like vodka and shame
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
