now i know why i became what i already was.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
