So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize