hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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