i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
