Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
