how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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