I wanna passion pit in your ass
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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