2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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