Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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