scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
