I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Panties = found
Randomize
