Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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