how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I want her autograph on my taint
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
