ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
