So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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