she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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