marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I didn't notice because vodka
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
