her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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