Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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