how can u be prego again
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize