okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
