There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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