dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
