Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
