why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
