So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
there is glitter all over my balls
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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