I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
