And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
