u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the day after is always just damage control
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
BRING THE BAGELS
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
