I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
